What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
