Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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