That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
