Sry I called you an 8
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
