you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize