I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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