morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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