i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
