this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
