I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
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we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
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My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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