The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
