I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize