Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
