I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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