I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
