yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
