it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I believe in your delicious
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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