hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
