it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
