we're blogging at a bar
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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