Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
