just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
