God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize