i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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