Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
