so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
