I wish I could teleport
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
