at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
