and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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