first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
