3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
