moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.