Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.

(734): View more from Michigan

I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.

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(757): I am not having having sex with guys at the moment. (734): I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue. http://tfl.nu/51cx

Replies (2) Good night (2162) Bad night (612)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that

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(508): I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that http://tfl.nu/gfaw

Replies (24) Good night (4027) Bad night (1772)
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(620): View more from Kansas

Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?

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(620): Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night? http://tfl.nu/n9fn

Replies (35) Good night (1523) Bad night (6709)
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(907): View more from Alaska

I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.

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(907): I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement. http://tfl.nu/8kf2

Replies (13) Good night (4377) Bad night (868)
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(773): View more from Illinois

once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up

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(773): once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up http://tfl.nu/esy3

Replies (5) Good night (2675) Bad night (635)
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(281): View more from Texas

Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday

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(281): Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday http://tfl.nu/9ias

Replies (14) Good night (1476) Bad night (2865)
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(765): View more from Indiana

If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.

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(765): If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs. http://tfl.nu/un7a

Replies (2) Good night (1593) Bad night (637)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested

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(201): she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested http://tfl.nu/bnqm

Replies (6) Good night (1745) Bad night (545)
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(434): View more from Virginia

I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth

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(434): I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth http://tfl.nu/xnjt

Replies (10) Good night (1331) Bad night (638)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

I can feel my liver begging me to stop.

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(479): I can feel my liver begging me to stop. http://tfl.nu/j2ah

Replies (2) Good night (914) Bad night (566)
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(509): View more from Washington

I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.

(609): View more from New Jersey

That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?

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(509): I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood. (609): That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do? http://tfl.nu/arvc

Replies (7) Good night (1672) Bad night (480)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.

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(575): Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut. http://tfl.nu/7s27

Replies (8) Good night (847) Bad night (510)
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(858): View more from California

Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip

(858): View more from California

It's the little things

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(858): Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip (858): It's the little things http://tfl.nu/9b0s

Replies (0) Good night (442) Bad night (225)
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(785): View more from Kansas

I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.

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(785): I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright. http://tfl.nu/s51t

Replies (0) Good night (369) Bad night (279)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.

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(208): Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering. http://tfl.nu/ya1u

Replies (5) Good night (820) Bad night (347)

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