Texts From Last Night

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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga

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  (712): I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga http://tfl.nu/ngoq
  Replies (10) Good night (4666) Bad night (1373)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito

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  (313): then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito http://tfl.nu/szdu
  Replies (33) Good night (4852) Bad night (697)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  his penis was the training wheels of my sex life

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  (610): his penis was the training wheels of my sex life http://tfl.nu/y4t8
  Replies (16) Good night (4678) Bad night (1232)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.

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  (404): I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE. http://tfl.nu/pyvt
  Replies (38) Good night (7696) Bad night (961)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.

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  (501): SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD. http://tfl.nu/21ls
  Replies (30) Good night (11850) Bad night (1270)
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  (310): View more from California

  so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.

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  (310): so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood. http://tfl.nu/y4bu
  Replies (7) Good night (3836) Bad night (958)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.

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  (205): First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined. http://tfl.nu/ei07
  Replies (4) Good night (1574) Bad night (1036)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.

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  (646): Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around. http://tfl.nu/mt6p
  Replies (7) Good night (547) Bad night (1262)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I will give you all my nachos to make this happen

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  (480): I will give you all my nachos to make this happen http://tfl.nu/ghnu
  Replies (4) Good night (1162) Bad night (488)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?

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  (608): Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night? http://tfl.nu/t0sh
  Replies (7) Good night (1594) Bad night (525)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.

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  (703): After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was. http://tfl.nu/omxm
  Replies (1) Good night (1342) Bad night (399)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!

  (1-716): View more from New York

  Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.

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  (716): Guess what I signed up for?!?!?! (1-716): Please tell me you're not selling your eggs. http://tfl.nu/5jqi
  Replies (1) Good night (738) Bad night (303)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.

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  (217): I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times. http://tfl.nu/aihm
  Replies (0) Good night (653) Bad night (444)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."

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  (616): She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20." http://tfl.nu/9pz5
  Replies (4) Good night (307) Bad night (527)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.

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  (631): I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct. http://tfl.nu/6tip
  Replies (1) Good night (298) Bad night (139)

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