Texts From Last Night

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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.

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  (832): Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/kcg4
  Replies (2) Good night (935) Bad night (532)
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  (021): View more from

  Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.

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  (021): Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant. http://tfl.nu/uluq
  Replies (49) Good night (580) Bad night (6690)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.

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  (405): Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward. http://tfl.nu/6x5x
  Replies (15) Good night (1396) Bad night (6908)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism

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  (651): Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism http://tfl.nu/8f4x
  Replies (4) Good night (3363) Bad night (876)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  where are you?

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Hypothermia

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  (443): where are you? (240): Hypothermia http://tfl.nu/1rtk
  Replies (20) Good night (2295) Bad night (4037)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.

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  (505): I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle. http://tfl.nu/qs61
  Replies (6) Good night (1395) Bad night (543)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.

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  (912): thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit. http://tfl.nu/e0ki
  Replies (12) Good night (1179) Bad night (817)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.

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  (503): There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing. http://tfl.nu/yajw
  Replies (5) Good night (1060) Bad night (422)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!

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  (940): Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?! http://tfl.nu/l6ig
  Replies (5) Good night (370) Bad night (1165)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.

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  (513): I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate. http://tfl.nu/7b4m
  Replies (1) Good night (842) Bad night (278)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  What's the mantra for Sunday?

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I will not have sex with him.

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  (502): What's the mantra for Sunday? (606): I will not have sex with him. http://tfl.nu/xixk
  Replies (2) Good night (790) Bad night (340)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY

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  (253): My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY http://tfl.nu/47h0
  Replies (3) Good night (294) Bad night (442)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.

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  (612): My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly. http://tfl.nu/orbs
  Replies (0) Good night (345) Bad night (217)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!

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  (602): OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED! http://tfl.nu/4r77
  Replies (3) Good night (549) Bad night (202)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys

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  (226): He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys http://tfl.nu/z52q
  Replies (1) Good night (550) Bad night (249)

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