ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do