Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize
