sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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