they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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