Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
