How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
