It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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