You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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