That's intense
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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