Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
