I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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