and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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