She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
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He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
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Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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