I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
