I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I love you. Go after that dick
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
