Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
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if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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