In America we eat man semen.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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