At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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