1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
