Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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