no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
