I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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