they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
