It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Will exercising make me less horny?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
