No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
