how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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