I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
