Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
no you cant smoke seaweed
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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