when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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