I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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