omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
