I have demons in me.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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