But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
