he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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