do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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