I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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